Quick, to the slutcave!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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