We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Randomize
