You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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