It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
