last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
