I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
