just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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