Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
