It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
