i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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