i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
why is half of my head shaved?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
