there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
