if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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