he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
