I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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