Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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