sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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