Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im six kinds of drunk right now
if only i could text you this smell
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
