I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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