I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
