do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Your cock deserves a montage
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
