the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
