And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
