I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
