he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
