we should wear snuggies to the strip club
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
