Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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