he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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