she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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