I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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