Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We're too hungover to prance.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
ok first of all what the fuck
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
