Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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