You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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