Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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