everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
