Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
there is glitter all over my balls
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
