No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think people are normalizing furries
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
