i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
