that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
