the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
