You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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