So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There's always time for handjobs
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
