ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
