he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
