I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
