Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
