i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
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Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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