and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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