Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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