now i know why i became what i already was.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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