the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
