I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
