I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
