That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
