So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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