I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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