he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
