You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
where am i from again
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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