that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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