at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
