It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
