just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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