these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
